I celebrated my 26thbirthday yesterday. This year I wasn’t worried about becoming older. I don’t stress that I’m closer to 30 than I am 20. This year I’m grateful to have seen my birthday at all.
In Life & Times #1 I spoke about being at a loss of what to do when I submitted but I didn’t really get a chance to plan out anything thanks to my ulcerative colitis. My 25thyear ended up being a shit show thanks to my health and the stress brought on from trying to finish my PhD. Now that I’m on the other side of it all I’m back to wondering what I want to do.
Truth be told, I really want to dive into some creative projects. I have ideas for a novel, poetry, posts and videos. I think I’ve always had the excuse of being busy thanks to my degrees but let’s be honest I was probably using it as an excuse. As much as I have the drive to do these things I’m terrified of failing. I worry myself over the fact that people may not like what I create and I’ve let that hold me back for way too long.
When I set up my digital pockets I initially did it for myself but I forgot about that. I became a slave to numbers and thought more about how I could gain a following but I don’t think I really care about that much anymore.
This year I’m going to take the plunge and start working on the projects that I’ve wanted to for years. If they happen to be successful then Alhumdulillah (praise be to God) and if not then realistically I’ve just lost time. As far as my concern over whether people like what I create or not I guess we always look for validation. It would be stupid of me to say I won’t care if people dislike my work but I’m primarily doing this for me now – so the important thing is that I’m proud of what I produce.
I never really believed in the phase ‘another year older, another year wiser’ but perhaps 26 will be my wisest year yet.